The weight of weight...

It's taken me a while to get my head around this post.
Not as long as it took for my mid-rift, thighs, back and face to become more round.

"The Road Back" to now has it's progress steeped in the success of my H2O or H3O approach.
"Is this choice/thing/action going to Help me Or Hinder me?"
The key to this is being super Honest with yourself.

More honesty than help or hinder follows.

The short version - 3 years condensed into 3 minutes:

My weight become a weight.
I was getting heavier and bigger and fatter.
I was aware of that.
The scales started to show me every day.
Clothes weren't fitting me.
I started to look fat in the face.
My belly-button disappeared.
  Was it going to collect lint?
I developed a decent roll around my stomach.
That roll was showing through some (looser fitting) shirts.
Others saw it. I saw them see it.
My abs turned in to an ab then flab.
I started to think about diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart-problems.
The health stories and issues of others rang louder with me.
My quads turned into a quad and then a thigh.
Any muscle definition I had disappeared.
I did a bicep-flex one day...nothing, donuts, zilch, naddah, nought, kapput!
I became self-conscious.
My arthritic toe and hip were getting worse.
My shoulder was no better.
Things weren't healing. I was in pain all the time.
I couldn't do a chin-up, a push-up, a sit-up, a dip, a lunge.
I was smiling less.
I couldn't walk (initially), run, ride or swim.
My competence and self-confidence fell.
My shopping, food-preparation, cooking and eating habits got worse.
   That's not true....I made them worse!
I was a role-model (in my eyes) for others, and providing guidance on health, fitness, training. professionalism and performance - and have been 30 years.
This had me question my professional integrity...especially as I was setting-up a new high performance business!

People were commenting, "good to see you with same weight on Fordy", and "are you going through a bulking phase?"

Oh, puh-leez, I was just getting fat, heavy & big.

And let myself become lazy about doing something about it.

Sure some medication(s) contributed. But I made more poor choices.



It didn't matter how others spun it, I wasn't going to spin away from the truth, the reality.
I began toquestion if I'd "given up", accepted being 50+, and could be happy fitting-in to many of the low standards and mediocrity around me.
Those thoughts didn't do much for my self-concept.
And, i'd become a little unhappy. 


My weight increase was weighing me down.
  In reality (and upon reflection) the consequences of choices had begun to weight me down.

Than a switch.
Driving home from the two specialists on December 15th (2017) I reflected on parts of my conversation with them...
* when the weight goes..."
*when the weight drops..."
* when I get the weight down..."

It struck me...I've given up responsibility for my weight gain.
I gave "the weight" it's own identity, and that was responsible for my malaise and deterioration.
I'd developed a habit-of-mind where i'd divorced myself from the reality of my own doing and was simply blaming "the weight".
MY issues had become about "when" - the future, not the here-and-now.

Neither of them represent me, nor what I'm about.
Screw that!!

I spent the weekend contemplating, and then planning.
I emailed it one of my specialists early Monday morning.

Although I'd made small in-roads into kicking some habits, I got to it - action - the very next day, Saturday.

I'm not a believer in waiting for Monday, tomorrow, next week, next month, next time, or the New Year.

Action and concomitant progress and results wait for nothing.

It became "The Road Back".
Another 3 year journey.
This time to health, fitness, and training, and ultimately, a return to competition.

I'd 'planned to lose the first 10-11 kgs over 12 months.

Well...things change!

And, here I am 11 weeks and 1 day later, and 9-months ahead of schedule ... I've made progress:
11.2kgs lighter.

Although there is much to go - and curve-balls yet to come - the progress is what I am proud of.

Favourite clothes and new clothes fit.
I'm walking, riding, chinning squatting. lunging, and swimming. and other stuff.

Importantly I'm feeling better, and feeling a little better about myself.

My quads are back.
My belly-button is back.

And...no lint!

Saturday night's reward....

Saturday night's reward dinner 👌

Was put in the fridge at lunch-time, was taken out of the fridge 1.30pm, Decided not to wait.

Then napped from 3.30-7pm....sigh 😀 
Bike ride 7.30pm 🚴‍♂️

Build success into your plan and progress, and make rewarding yourself a part of it.

I don't recommend rewarding yourself with the things or habits you're trying to change though 

The road to here...

The Road Back - the H2O approach.

This is re-worked from January 10th...the day I made it public that I was on a journey.

I don't usually share much personal stuff.
Personal is personal.

Most journeys begin well before we become conscious of them, or admit to them.
Some of this begun in my childhood...some parts still tucked and locked well away from the pain of being different, and being bullied; some tucked away from the independence, determination and resilience that borne from it; some I don't know about and some I do; from 30 years of learning some stuff in, through and by helping others improve, get better and achieve; some from the guilt-ridden realisation that it it's time to focus some of that energy on getting myself "better". This is part of that.

I sometimes recommend that others make (aspects of) their journey public.
This is me making some of the upcoming twists and turns in mine public too. Partly to help my accountability; partly as a record, partly to re-spark my writing; partly  as to not be hypocritical; and - damn it - partly to be a resource for others who are (considering getting) on the "road back" too.

Here's my real-life current journey. There may be something here for you or someone you know.

2015 & 2016 were tough years particularly health-wise. A weight gain of 12kg came with those years, some shitty medication, and poor choices.
Chronic inflammation and pain, an 25 year arthritic big-toe joint, and early shoulder and hip joint arthritis. the hip thanks to being hit by a car when 11yo, and the shoulder courtesy of some bike falls in my early 20s). These made movement tough, let alone exercise.

70-80km/week running and regular 2-4/week strength sessions protected me for years. Swimming 20-25kms/week helped to...well, at least up until 2008 when a skin cancer on my right shoulder (*post soon) frightened the shit out me and I gave the pools, lakes, rivers and bay/ocean up cold turkey.

2016 eroded that protection. It dropped 35 years of running's weekly average below 75km/week for the first time since 1982

2017 was a year of return to health.: physical, mental, emotional and career-wise.
I weened myself off medication that had contributed to screwing up as much as it may have helped
I took another side-ways step in my career. A step I'd planned to take in 3-4 years time.
I set-up an Australian first training facility. I love what I do and work hard at getting better, and getting better at getting better for the benefit of others. I now have a facility I can "get better" in and bring those principles to those who are ready, willing and able to take the high performance approach too.

More on the facility another time.
And, more on what high performance is (and isn't) very soon.
.
2018 is the year of return to training.
It's started well...I consulted one of my specialists Fri Dec16th.
There was good news. I documented a 3-page plan and sent it to him on the 19th. He gave it a tick (lol).

With the hip arthritis and a persistent lower-leg (soleus aponeurosis) issue I decided not to begin walk/run until my weight was below 85kg (from 90.2 and shorts and shirts that had shrunk, ha).


I anticipated this - with the right choices and "action" - to happen by late Feb-early March (prior to my 52 birthday).
.
I significantly upped the anti with exercise, initial training and anti-sitting too.
More on these soon as well.
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That same weekend I recalled my H2O approach from my competitive running days in the mid-late 1980s.


The H2O approach goes like this:
With EVERY choice I make - food, sleep/rest, drink, activity, TV, sitting - I ask, "Is this going to Help me Or Hinder me?"
If the answer is hinder, I don't do it (95% of the time).
If it is help, either immediately or contribute to longer term good, DO it.
Particularly with sleep, food and drink.


Perhaps there's a 3rd H. You *need* to be super f'n Honest with yourself.
.
Progress check: weight down to 84.9kg.
That's a loss of 5.3kg in just under 4 weeks.
I pat myself on the back this (Jan 10) morning - for the first time in a long time.

It wasn't easy.
I've worked hard at it. And slipped a little every week or so.
They're great odds given the changes.
.
And, I've decided to wait longer - until my weight is back to 78-79kg before beginning running again. In total that'll be 12kg (or 13% of body-weight) which is fundamentally all lard/fat/cellulite reduction in weight.

This patience and persistence will give me more time to work on other things - establishing a broader and bigger base or foundation.
.
2019 is planned as a return to competition (at <75kg)
.
I'm going to keep a blog of my progress and my strategies for my own motivation, as a guide for me, you and others.


And, here we are...